Thursday, February 5, 2009

David After Dentist

I include the below video here for three inconsequential reasons and a fourth, more important, reason.

1. It's very funny.

2. I have no videos on my blog and I want them. Other blogs have videos and mine should have them too. My blog is better than other blogs, better than everyone else's blog, and it is better in every way. Videos are now a part of this betterness.

3. Having the video makes me feel good. Aside from felling better about the blog, I feel technologically competent, validated. I am not too savvy with many things. I'm familiar with my own navel, but most else I view as a mystery. So the fact that I can take this bit of code and paste it into my blog makes me very, VERY proud.

4. I am David. Not really; I'm Derek and I am 40 and normally wear a goatee. Still, I relate to little David's seemingly entire state of confusion. The first thing that called my name was when he asks

"Is this real life?"

I feel, as many of us do, that this surely can't be it, can't be all there is. I have been told though, that indeed this is it . This is not a trial run, as I had secretly hoped. Then David miscounts his fingers which I do. At least once a day I find myself counting on them, to make certain that one of them hasn't been lost.

Next we find young David rising from his seat onto his arms and screaming, protesting this erroneous reality, expressing his frustration. I have done this at home occasionally, but normally I reserve this tactic for the office. It's my way of saying "Do NOT assign me any cases. Better still, don't talk to me today, as I am seriously, unrighteously "unwell."

Now we find David in denial

"I don't feel tired" he says, then nearly closes his eyes. Similarly, I might say, "No Sir, I'm resting my head on the desk because I am studying the effects of dust on the mucous membranes. I AM NOT sleeping."

David then asks, twice, if he has stitches. I can recall every single stitch and broken bone that I have received over the years, but the short term memory goes. More importantly, the short term memory goes. After David pronounces his condition of "felling funny" he asks, pleads for an answer

"Why is this happening to me?" Sound familiar to you?

Finally he asks in readily apparent frustration

"Is this going to be forever?"

His father, in an effort towards kindness lies to the child. But I want him to know, wherever he is

"Yes, David. This will last forever, or at least 30 more years."


  1. Oh mercy! Thank you, Derek, for the first breathless, guttural laughing fit I've had in several weeks. That video is fantastic, to be sure, but your play-by-play is far superior. In fact, your writing here is actually the definition of "betterness."

  2. Congrats on figuring out how to post that video - I know how you feel when fitting new little pieces of this gazillion piece puzzle we call the internet. I did a similar video when my son was 17 and had 4 wisdom teeth pulled - so hilarious!!! Your son is adorable and your video just had me rolling - it's gonna go viral I just know it - it's that funny ! Following each other on Twitter ....

  3. Thanks for the comments! No, David's not my son. He could be, I'll have not verified some blood work, but I don't think so :)

  4. Derek, I see how you are trying to make the connection of how David sees the world after the trip to the dentist, to what you have experienced in this world. That's a great observation. We've all been there!

  5. I just saw this video on the tv news and had to come back to check because I thought it was your son/your video. Still hilarious though. Hope you're doing well.

  6. Your honesty is refreshing indeed. Quite funny too. Keep writing and you'll be interviewing "them" before you know it.

  7. Hey there what was your name...oh ya God oh ya might me god...LOL

    after a long evening of floating around in a pocket of sadness I come back online and come across your loverly posting job of Dave after the Dentist and and yer other thoughts :) I have been giggling and smiling since..thanks for that.
    I've been in Dave's spot at that age...and even used the 'f' word with my mom as she was trying to help me cope with comeing down off the anesthesia.

    thanks for that...and I can't wait to see what you write next.

    oh ya and thanks for being my 500th I will have to figure out a prize for you :)
    and as of today a few of the laptop people left :( but I will always remember you as my 500th

    have a great day